So as I have before mentioned I think a lot, when I say think I constantly have conversations in my head that if said out loud would be more of a narrative to my life and would more than likely get me sectioned or at least frowned at. But what I have started to notice since doing the blog is the way my thinking patterns work. Did my thought patterns sound like blog entries before I started blogging and writing again or have they changed in preparation to possibly blog and write down my thoughts? This was what kept me awake for a few hours last night.
I have kept diaries for years, I always burn them though for fear of others reading them but love journaling to get my issues out of my head as a way of therapy and so my head can take a break from thinking a lot. Some of the reasons why I burn them are a self confidence issue, or lack of. Again I do not ruminate on those feelings because they are not fact. I always feel as though people are going to judge me on spelling, grammar, my honesty and my opinions (heck on a side note I also burn my drawings and painting and other art. I am going to be working on this too) it has become more of a habit formed from childhood to avoid being told how crap I was.
So is this way of thinking a way of my brain writing and editing entries before they have been written, finding different ways of saying things to get my point across in the way I want, or have I always thought like this?
Do other writers think as though they are writing it down?
Does the fact that you are a writer mean that you only became a writer because this is how your thought process has always worked?
Or do all these questions just prove that I do think too much and analyse things more than needed?