So it seems to the main focus for so many blogs that I am reading right now, and of cause it is the thing most of think about at this time of year mixed with the fact I have just had five days off which left me nothing to do but think I thought I would put my contribution to the mass amounts of postings about the up and coming new year.
Taking a break!
So I shall take you to the start of my time off, for that is when all the thinking and evaluating started. I started by looking through my vision book, which is also called cosmic ordering, goal setting guidance and I am sure many other things, but they are all the same, a visual reminder of what it is we want to achieve. At the start of my time off which for me is a time that I do not do anything work related or anything but the basic house work. Both of my children were preoccupied, my youngest at his father’s for Christmas and my eldest being almost 18 was off doing his own thing, my other half not able to get time off from work left me on my own in the house to my thoughts. I had already decided to take reflection time, to work on my book and on myself. It soon became apparent just how much time I devote to the children, house work as well as my work I was soon left feeling a little lost.
Are you sitting comfortably?
I got my rather large pile of magazines that I had been meaning to read for months and got myself comfy on the sofa armed with a pair of scissors, glue and of cause my book. As I flicked through the pages looking for inspiration, all the time of course thinking I started noticing signs that at least I was on the right track. I say a sign as this is how I take things like this. Articles about the very things that had been going through my mind even down to numerology articles in the spiritual magazines, according to the numerology section my personality type if that of a thinker, and it very kindly pointed out that in not so many words, I think too much or should I say worry too much which stops me from doing the things I want to achieve. Of cause I knew this already and swore at the article. The same happened when I read the advice for my horoscopes for the up and coming year. it wasn’t just the spiritual magazines giving me these signs, the psychologies pile also bought up articles about finding confidence, marketing yourself, finding balance in a world where as a woman we can be pulled in so many different directions and as the rise in women’s rights we have somehow decided that we are capable of doing everything it just so happens we try and do it all at the same time and get frustrated at others (yes mainly our men) when they don’t or can’t do the same. I did find it interesting reading past month’s horoscopes as they were spot on especially the part about Venus’s influence on my life being a Cancerian. Turns out it is going to be on my side and giving me a lovely helping hand. Which is good because I bloody well need all the help I can get. My book is really taking shape now and I can see how well I have done in the past year in achieving things I want to, with this new found positivity I went onto my next step of my over hall.
New moon weekend boost
Involved me doing my little ritual which so far is working, things I needed to work out of my system or that which I have been suppressing has been really breaking through resulting in what can only be described as mini break downs. I have learnt that perhaps ignoring things that come into my head isn’t the best way of going about things. So my “it’s not fair tantrum” has left me feeling very tired today. I really have the huge hurdle of my financial situation to overcome. This has lead to many an internal debate between the person who I want to be and the person I have been, it was during this debate that I realised I always do this about all parts of my life, I let the past dictate how I act in the present trying to find the future I want, I think about things, work out where the problems are and instead of working through them I fight against them. This works for a lot of things but it appears not my deep down problem of fear of failure. Dam it so now what? More thinking and a big decision has been made.
I am going to leave it there for now though and will post the outcome tomorrow.