It is now the 3rd day into the New Year and so far so good. My eldest has gone back to college and my youngest is still in his room cleaning it. It is where he has spent the majority of the holidays because he just doesn’t tidy his room; he goes upstairs and ignores me. Luckily for me I have back up in the form of my other half so I am feeling a lot more able to deal with the stresses of having a child who just doesn’t seem to get it.
So in the news this morning was a report about how kids who do not have routine in their lives suffer in the long run, this is conflicting for me as I am trying to develop a flexible routine. My youngest needs routine and pretty much constant one to one, he is 12 this year! He is a fantastic kid and has so much going for him however he has no sense to action and consequence despite having the same ground rules we have always had. His behaviour is getting worse as he gets older, ok not worse but harder for me to handle. It is a really hard age to be, you are no longer a kid but you are also not a teenager so there is a conflict of responsibilities and with him he is finding it hard to find the balance between being able to play and be a kid while trying to keep up with his ‘friends’ who as far as I am concerned are far too old for their ages love my boy being a kid, the fact he loves getting dirty and sitting down to play with Lego for hours on end, or gets that into drawing he forgets he should of been going to bed. I do not remember worrying over relationships, fashion, the latest must have gadget etc at this age, but then again I guess I have never been “the norm” when was it ok for us to make our kids grow up so quickly, hardly any of his so called friends are ok with being silly and having a laugh, it is un cool to be immature even though THEY ARE CHILDREN. (Avoids the rant) The state of his room this morning broke me. So everything has been put into boxes and bags and put in my room. He is then given a time limit to sort out each bag/box. Anything left or not done at the end of the time I have said I will sort out and give it to charity/in the bin and anything at the end of the day still in my room will also meet the same fate.
I have decided that while he is up there sorting out his room and will be down here sorting out and re-jigging a routine that is going to work for us all. I am going to have to have a few various ones for different times of the year, to cover my man’s work shifts, school and college. Goodness knows how I am going to get my eldest to go along with this, he is very much in the state of “it’s my life, I’ll do what I want” ok so he is 18 on Sunday but he still has to go with the house rules, I will refrain from telling him “you treat this place like a free hotel” for now, but I can hear it bubbling under the surface.
So off I go to work out my routine, to cover my three businesses, the kids, house work, time for me and quality time with my other half. Oh my this is going to be tough but I figure as long as meals and bed times are the same the rest should just slot in there. I am so glad I have decided not to do any work this week. i found this site which has loads of down loads and print outs that i am going to use too, even if it is just for ideas.
Do you have a routine and is it something that you find really helpful or are you rethinking it with the New Year new start? What things always work for you?