I spent the most of yesterday thinking, mainly due to the fact I had to take tramadol my my hip etc by lunch time. I had a phone meeting with my youngests head of year, I was feeling a bit bad about not being able to make it down to talk to the face to face but after being told “we have the curse of your son” I was glad that I was on the phone, un-able to reach down the phone and knock her the hell out. needless to say the school are still not being of much help. I don’t get offended so the thought of putting in a complaint would not sit right with me, for now. I have wrote the incident down and the context it was in, words will be had with the teacher when I meet her.
Today I shall be having a work day with my friend, not only that but tonight is a full moon and I know that it would be a great time to give myself a kick up the ass with everything that has been going on in the past week. Of course if the weather is nice i would very much like to have a little fire at least. My youngest has stuff to burn too and has said he wants to get involved with anything I do this evening, I am thinking he can charge his crystals up with some medetation time, using the new play list I put on his satan pod. His behaviour at home as taken a huge u turn for the best.
We have been working really hard at home, ok so I have been putting more effort in, no matter how tired the constant one to one make me he needs it to keep on track and I wouldn’t be doing my job as a good mum if i didn’t keep it up. The kids have new chore list and with the backing from my other half rules have been put in place so we all know exactly where we stand. Giving him the run down when he gets in from work feels a bit odd but it is better doing it this way, it feels very super nannyish in the way that these are the things families do when they function in a healthy way. I like to say odd.
I really need to sort my head out, it is all fuzzy and thinking isn’t something I am enjoying at all. Sleeping is also still an issue. My other half is being all lovely and supportive which makes me feel even more guilty for going through this down time. The full moon tonight has had some of the blame as I get PFMT but i am also thinking that this head head crap is like an infection. Without going into too much detail at this hour of the morning in order to treat an infection you have to get out all of the gunk .. my head right now is that gunk oooosing out are all my emotions and issues I have to deal with in order for me to heal properly and truley move forward in a healthy way. I have avoided staying in bed so far this week no matter how much I feel like just curling up away from the world, if it wasn’t for the Emotional Freedom practice, known to some DBT I would be a complete mess, at least I am keeping my head above water taking one day at a time, at times taking on hour at a time.
I am counting on tonights full moon though, some people do not understand why my spirituality plays a huge part in my life, it gives focus, add meaning onto things that can sometimes feel alien and out of control. My beliefs have been there for my though out my whole life, even when I didn’t realise it as a young girl when I was feeling sad my grandma would give me a pebble to hold to make me feel better. It comes as natural as getting dressed every day.
I will be drawing on the reading from Sanctuary Therapies that was done for the full moons energies. This can usualy be found on facespace .. what we always call facebook but especialy since i started looking a lot more like how myspace used to all those years ago, but today I am going to post it in my blog. I am going to be doing myself my own personal reading later too.
So I better go and get myself sorted for the day. My other half and I have an appointment at the gym this morning to have a look around. I am staying away from the leisure trust after they screwed me over with work so it is the rather posh Nuffield Health centre we going to be seeing. I am really really hoping i can find a way of affording it, no idea how much it is until we get there and they give us the sales pitch, I do miss going to the gym and keeping fit in general and going with my other half would be very ‘coupley’ we could even get co-ordinating work out wear, or matching shell suits PMSL.