After a not very helpful talk with one of small boy’s teacherson tuesday I am putting my plan of action up a level. I do not like being talked down at by anybody. First the school are going to receive a letter of complaint which is going to be CC’s to all of the other agencies involved, this I really didn’t want to do because I was really hoping to sort this out in a friendlier and less confrontational manner.
This changed after the conversation with small boys English teacher, of course yesterday I contacted the school as small boy was really anxious about going in, he feels as though some of the teachers are out to get him. I explained that with the state he is in emotionally right now, it may not be fact that they do have it in for him, but more this is how he feels and I wasn’t happy with the way he has been spoken to by one teacher in particular. I had the call off said teacher, who spent a good five minutes talking at me, no intent of an actual conversation, she pointed out all of my sons flaws while I sat there trying not to instantly react as I could feel my emotions running high into ‘protective mum mode’. When she had finished I tried to say my piece, explain that we are having trouble on a whole with him and even though I was not making excuses for how he is that a little patience or at least understanding is in order. I also pointed out that with his mindset the way it is right now that he doesn’t need the pressure of assessments, derogatory comments or any worry about his GCSE’S. let me point out at this point that I am not one of those parents whose child can do no wrong, I am fully aware of his very challenging behaviour, anger and inability to react to things without a lot of attitude and especially when he is with a certain group of children, no that is not an excuse but fact. He isn’t able to make the right decisions when he with them. Wishing it was different is pointless, that just fills every one with frustration. I accept that, especially right now, he is very hard to handle so I change my behaviour but without changing the rules and boundaries. When talking to him about his behaviour at school I explain what isn’t acceptable. His instant reaction from the start of the conversation is to fly off the handle, throw things, swears, hits himself, and shouts loads. He isn’t able to calm himself down when he like this so I walk away rather than making the situation worse. When he is calm we continue the conversation, even if it takes hours.
Having to try and point out to a teacher that I understand that they are looking out for their education but they need to appreciate that I am his parent looking out for the whole well being of my son. The teacher was very abrupt with me, which even looking back on it today was not professional in the slightest and she made no effort to come to a compromise with her teaching. This is the teacher who was supposed to be helping support him with his English home work because of the hours it takes me at home. She hasn’t done so because despite of me asking for him to be taken by a member of staff to these sessions no one has so there for he forgets to go. he forgets that he is eating his dinner, that he was sent up stairs to brush his teeth etc and the teacher gave me the impression that she didn’t quite believe me how much one to one he needs at home, it is more now than when he was 3 years old.
I have left many messages with outer agencies to ask our different case workers to contact me, one of them is on annual leave for two weeks, the other … no doubt snowed under still hasn’t got back to me. I am looking into alternatives to main stream schooling right now, independent learning, home schooling, specialist schools anything that could help him get the supported education he deserves. He is a bright child, in the middle range classes at school but this means they do not have the TA’s and I am unsure if his academic abilities hinder things with how they see him. He may not be getting ‘pastoral support’ at school now as apparently they are going to be implementing something else, which I have not been told about fully yet so I am unsure of what it is, what it will mean for small boy too and if it means he is still facing a managed move to another school. I am hoping they will implement a CAF which runs in line with the every child matters policy but we shall have to wait and see.
Today I have to take him to the GP; we need to talk to her about what I am to do when my son says he wishes he was dead, and self harms. I also need to see where I stand on keeping him off school with mental health issues, if it was a physical illness then no one would batter an eye lid but mental is seen differently. I do not want him going on medication either, I do not mind looking into supplements but in the ideal world I would like him signed off so to speak for a couple of weeks then maybe the other agencies will then move faster . Have work sent home if possible so he doesn’t fall too much behind because I just do not know what else to do, I hate seeing him such a mess every morning and evening, the time he has isn’t enjoyable and he is missing out on education at school anyway.