Well that was short lived
In a matter of two days small boy has received no positives at school, quite a few negatives and two detentions. Any one would think he’s back in normal lessons.
I also have a new dilemma .. Do I tell my son it’s ok to lie?
A teacher asked him if he thought she was stupid to which he answered honestly and replied yes. The story behind it is that he threw a rubber in class to his friend as he didn’t want to get told off for leaving his seat. He admits that looking back throwing a rubber was a bad idea especially as it just missed another child and landed on their desk quite loudly. He was honest and said he threw it for his friend and the teacher didn’t believe him, instead believes he threw in at the pupil he just missed. She asked him why, he told her and when she didn’t believe him asked if he thought she was stupid. He said that he tried to look at the floor and not answer (which is what I tell him to do if he’s in a reaction mind as a way of calming himself down) he is a literal thinker which even drives me nuts at times especially when I ask him can he do something rather than will he do it. Such as his room, home work and other things such as chores, coming here so I can show him something etc.
I did if course speak to him about what happened and he denies nothing apart from throwing to be mean. He openly said he thought she was stupid for asking him a question and not believing the answer. I explained that you don’t tell a teacher they are stupid to which he replied ” I didn’t know what else to say and didn’t want to lie” he doesn’t get how society works with something and this is one of them, it’s either ok to lie or not ok for him there is not tact or grey area.
Agree with it or not my style of patenting is that I explain things to my children, have never done the whole “do what I say because I said to do it” for me it’s because I want my children to take responsibility for their choices through knowing the constituencies of that action be it positive or negative. It’s by no means easy at times but something I do regardless of ease. They are after all responsible for the things they choose to do. He did his home work last night though after I explained that this would be a good thing and help him with school and his future.
Which brings me on to another negative small boy received, his detention is set for the 14th of November for 30minutes after school (yes he also needs a time machine) for .. And to quote ” he did no work unless he had direct support and became very disruptive ”
Am I being naive in thinking that its about time the school recognised this pattern with small boy? When he gets support he produces fantastic work, because of the support he doesn’t have time to get distracted because he’s instantly brought back to focus. He is like it at home, his level of one to one is increasing as he’s getting older as he has more stuff to do, even with this one to one at home it can still take three to five hours per piece set. When he doesn’t get support things get out of hand. It isn’t a case of If he throws a wobbly he gets his own way, I may be a hippie but I’m no push over. My children have always had rules and boundaries not matter how hard they complain they have to learn that in life there are rules and things that need to be done whether we like it or not.
I have called the head of SEN at the school and am waiting for my call back.
In other news I’ve had a letter off CAMHS saying small boy has been prioritised for individual work and will be receiving ongoing assessments around reported attentional difficulties. They have received the Conor scales back from the school which I have this horrid feeling the school may not have answered properly. I won’t find out until our next meeting with CAMHS I do have all of his school logs though that show his behaviour and these patterns and will hopefully prove to who ever may need it proving to that I’m not making this up. After all the person who filled it out was the same member of staff that reported me to social services for self diagnosing small boys issues because of my mental state … Which right now is one of being tired, frustrated, pissed off and wondering if this will ever get sorted.