Full moon February 25th at 20:26 – banashing unwanted energies, added power with spells, protection, divination, charging crystals and your life in general
Moon rise 17:37
Moon in Virgo – moving forward, weeding out unwanted & negative aspects and energies, moving towards your goals, spiritual power, dedication to the greater good
Magick wise for me I’m having a fire ( there I have written it so now it’s going to rain) I need to get guidance back into my life, find focus and it would be appreciated if I could have some signs from the universe to what the fuck I’m supposed to be doing because right now I give in.
Ok not actually give in but it seems as though everything I do and try doesn’t work out. People I rely on to help let me down and what I thought was the right direction ends up brining me back to where I started.
It’s a rather emotional time in our house this morning, it’s been all go and small boy so far is having an off day. There are not many words being used just noises so It many be a very long day. I’m always emotional around the full moon anyway, I tend to be very grrrr “don’t mess or i will rip your head off” followed by urges to really move on with my life, take hold of it by the horns and ride it naked like the beast it is into the life I want.
I had lots planned for today mainly getting the garden done some more as I’m growing by the moon this year fully to see how it goes. I’ve done little bits and pieces in the past but not soley by the moon. But it’s raining and freezing, literally and with small boy in a sensitive mood I’m now trying to work out what I’m going to do today.
I have folksy to sort out, but I’m also going to be selling some things on Facebook and possibly twitter. Have a bit of a PayPal issue, I can use my personal one but our business PayPal isn’t linked up to a business banks account because I can’t get one due to bad credit (thanks to debts left by the ex’s) so the money going into the business PayPal stays in PayPal, great for buying stock online… You see my issue? As I don’t buy my stock online, and certainly won’t be able to use the money from sales towards wage, bills etc and with folksy etc it has to be a business PayPal that you use. I have yet found a way to combat this problem. All my stock has now been taken out of the shop that I was trying to sell things in an I’m left with quite a bit if stock to photo, price and put up somewhere to sell. Having a market stall is a no go and I’m left rather confused as what to do next.
I’m still no closer getting my happy ending either. I don’t even know if I’m classed as single or not. One thing I do know an have come to realise is that I should be missing a lot more than I am and the reason for this is that I never got them to miss. Have I lost my heart to someone who is never going to actually step up to the plate? Have I been a complete idiot all these years thinking and hoping for change that isn’t possible? I just don’t know. Perhaps I have different ideas on relationships and how people act when they want to be with someone for the rest of your life. Words have become meaningless especially as I’ve been going over all the past promises that never came into practice.
As for the retreat and social enterprise I dream of having, you can’t do it on your own and I don’t have any reliable person to help. It’s not likely that I’m going to suddenly come across a large sum of money, or any money right now.
I do have some positive news though … Small boy has his last appointment at CAMHS this week. He’s only been out of school for a month but in that time he’s stopped self harming completely and has become a lot calmer and because if how well he is doing they don’t feel he needs their support anymore. It does mean his therapy is completely down to me, which is fine but a lot more responsibility ontop of everything else I’m in charge of.
It sucks being on my own in all of this but I know I can do it and I’d much rather it be like this than me being depressed that I’m with someone but still having to be my own support. Perhaps this is all how it supposed to be? If it then I think it’s rather cruel but I shall deal with it. I have to deal with it because no one is here to carry me when I fall.
So plans for today have gone out of the window and it’s now lunchtime. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long day, and with small boy needing more attention today than normal I can’t see me getting anything done. Oh and it’s started raining … Perfect for an outside fire later !!