Yes it’s silent Sunday and I have already posted today’s plans. These have now changed.
After fixing my necklace I’ve cleansed it and then charged it. I sat down to crochet but kept on getting distracted and couldn’t settle on it instead having the urge to do other things more focused on my spiritual side as since the spring equinox I’ve felt more drawn to focusing on it, wearing my necklace appears to be helping that need to seek guidance and embrace the energies.
I’ve had a few things floating through my head and reading through my personal written journal have noticed that I’ve been going around in circles more than usual and that over the past few months I’ve lost some connection with everything. I guess all of the crap has really got to me and I’m now finding my urge to reconnect with myself has never been this strong.
The past few weeks have especially sucked making me realise even more how precious life is. There have been a few deaths of people I know making me realise even more how precious this life is. I wasn’t particularly close to any of them but the sudden death if my friends son hit me harder than I could ever imagine. 15 is certainly too young to die and I can not and will not even try to imagine what his family are going through. It’s left me with a lot of thoughts but mostly brought back memories if my small boy trying to take his own life last year. This is why I refuse to concentrate on these thoughts too much.
It is most certainly over with my now ex and he’s collected his things and left his key. He left me a note which broke my heart because its too little too late. So many empty promises, false hopes and having my heart broken means I can no longer believe his words whether written or spoken. My heart is still breaking and the thought of not getting emotionally involved ever again is rather appealing. I’m not going to say a definite NO because you’re never in-control of these things but I’m not going out looking for anyone. I like the idea of companions though.
Needless to say now I’m single other things have been going through my head a lot and I realise that there are things that are cropping up that I never thought about before. Mainly surrounding sex but as these are still thought processes I’m not going to share just yet
I was drawn to reading this though, I’ve had the book for a couple of weeks and got it to match my collection but it has to be said that for me it’s completely accurate …. Roll on being 3
Anyone who really knows me will also agree with how accurate this is.
So for now I’m going to go and read, research and write.