It’s been a while since I actually wrote a post, mainly as small boy has been back keeping me busy and I’ve busy creating websites, editing photos, organising stock not to mention being a little stressed.
We’ve had the results of the internal investigation from the school stating that small boy had been given the support he needed, that all staff had been told about his assessment and that after an informal examination and interview had declared that his Sel harming and attempt to take his own life was just to seek attention from me. This has pissed me off beyond believe and I’m trying to find out if the school are actually allowed to lead a conversation about self harm with a child, especially as I didn’t know they had done this in the first place. I have wrote to the school requesting the statement from this informal examination. I had a moment of “it’s the end of the world” then re-read the letter. Sure enough I can pick it apart its just getting more weight on my side because the school are covering their asses and although its not going to stop the fact I’m home educating but I want some recognition to the fact the school let my son down. Yes I guess you could say it won’t solve anything, won’t change what has happened but it has made me angry and change needs to be made for more recognition and support of children like my son
Change starts some where and even if me not giving up makes the school change little things then it has to be a good thing. I’m also going to go to the press with another parent who’s son is going through similar issues.
I did take small boy to our local museum last week, I’ve been in there many time and we were having a more successful visit with small boy really taking the time to read and interact with different things and the. The curator came and told us to leave straight away. The reason was my bare feet and despite offering him a disclaimer saying that I take full responsibility for my own safety and if I stand on anything it’s my own fault this wasn’t accepted and even when I explained I walk everywhere barefoot we still had to leave. Anyone who has a child like my small boy known how traumatic an stressed they can get at a sudden change of plan, especially when we hadn’t done everything we planned to to. He wasn’t a happy boy in the slightest and had a small melt down. Small means less than 5 minutes and was helped kept short by a visit to the park and a promise from myself to go on the slide a few times. When I was all slided out I let him run around for a while to burn off any extra energy and pent up frustrations. He usually just runs around, in his own world free running and keeping himself to himself. He noticed a smaller child having other children ignoring him or being nasty towards him so did no more than make himself known and telling the other child “come on mate I’ll play with you” they then played for a good hour not quite together but not quite separate either. So we are going to the park daily at around the same time so he can carry on playing. I do of course have a sneaky plan as this helps with his social anxiety, the more we do it the more he will get comfortable as his confidence.
My head has been all over the place too, worrying about money mainly and if course my heart isn’t very happy. I have started talking to my ex again. Which is nice, I’d missed talking about random crap and hanging out and things hadn’t been fully sorted out, as an end or conclusion so to speak. So we’d arranged to meet up and talk on Saturday. He turned up with the most beautiful bunch of flowers I’ve seen for a while and a tooth brush. 8 years ago when we started dating we went to the garage for petrol, he asked if I wanted anything so my reply was surprise me. Yes he got me a tooth brush, that was the moment all those years ago that I realised he was the one.
We spoke at length well actually he did. He’s never spoken about things like that before, never taken responsibility for his issues, problems or actions. Never said sorry in the past but what shocked me more was that he admitted when he was in the wrong and that this means he feels he’s lost the right to expect anything from me, including my friendship. Yes I wanted to slap him for not realising this years ago but I was very honest with him and said that I can’t be in a relationship, that I don’t want a relationship and all I can offer him is friendship. Since then we’ve hung out a couple of times since and it has been nice. I do miss him as a friend, I told everything to him like you would a best friend.
Work wise it’s all over the place. Not sleeping means I’m not very clear headed and when building websites and editing photos I need a clear head or I forget the simplest things like saving work as I go along. Needless to say my lap top freaked out and I lost all of the 18hr + progress I’d made.
This is also where my creativity has been concentrated on and I don’t want to show anyone until its finished. So of you think I’ve stopped my creative challenge you are wrong mwahahahaha I’ve just been doing techy creative things. I’ve also not had the money to enter any of my photography into the festival or arts which was also freaking small boy out. So we are going to he aiming to do it next year. I guess there is no rush although I’m quite sad about it. Ohhhhh I do have a few other things up my sleeve that I’m excited about. More to come on that another day.
How has your past week gone? Are you ready for the weekend?