We had a moment yesterday that took me by surprise a little. Anyone who know me or small boy is fully aware of his love of all things free running and climbing. He truly loves it but something was off yesterday.
It started off as a slow start to the day, the weather was grey and gloomy, he had got up earlier than usual saying he was cold and got into my bed for a little snuggle. He seemed off so getting him out side to get some exercise was first on our todo list, so we decided to take a trip into town followed by an afternoon in the garden.
He’s been ‘off’ for a while, keeping himself to himself, being snappy and very abrasive. Getting him outside helps ground him, clear his head and of course the exercise helps with the happy hormones. We started off in our usual way, me walking and him on his bike. Things were going fine until he started climbing, which is when it went down hill very fast. He got stuck! Small boy actually got stuck up a tree, one of which he climbs on a regular basis.
Neither of us know what happened but for some reason at that very moment he lost all confidence in himself and his ability, he tried lots of different ways to get down but it wasn’t working and the excuses started to come out, there was bird pooh, his arm hurt, the ground was too even … Yes sure enough he was psyching himself out and it wasn’t long before his hood came up over his head and he declared he couldn’t do it.
He was too high up for me to climb up and get him, he also didn’t want me to. He then got increasingly frustrated with himself. Never a good thing as anyone who has ever felt this will know and soon enough he was hitting himself calling himself stupid. He wouldn’t listen to my advice on how to get himself down because he wasn’t in the right mind set so all I could do was sit and wait for him to calm down giving the occasional words of support as I knew he’d be able to do it. These were met with angry shouts. This took 45 minutes, 45 minutes which felt like hours. When he was calm he was able to follow my instructions and get to a point where I could reach his legs (with his bottom in my face I will add) even then he was an emotional mess but we got there and he was down. Lots of hugs were given, lots and lots of hugs and then we continued on after a promise of going to just one shop then home for lunch. Good food always helps with situations like this, not to be confused with junk convenience food as these just add to the problems. Town and shopping went well, helped by me finding a pound on the grass meaning we could get a drink. We picked up some of the plants we wanted and made our way home.
My heart sank as I saw him cycling to exactly the same tree. Then he did something awesome, he got down all on his own, dropping from the branch he had declared earlier was too high.
Three times he did this each time followed by huge amounts of praise and high fives and plenty of hugs. I was so proud of him. Not for getting out the tree, I knew he could do this in the first place but my pride was for him overcoming his fears and giving it another go. I can not get over in words how proud of him I am, to see his face when he did it, the huge squeeze hug I got from him and to see his self confidence rise again made me a very happy mum. He then went on to push himself further by conquering another fear that he’s had for a while after slipping off something and almost face planting the road. Sure enough he was a very proud happy boy.
There would of been no point shouting at him when he was stuck, or getting myself stressed over it. I’ve accepted that he has to take his own time to calm down and this whole experience shall be going into the experiences file so to speak to encourage him to keep pushing himself, that even if he does get scared, can’t do something to start off with doesn’t means he’s stupid, or isn’t capable of doing something. This practical way of learning this mind set will help when it comes to other things in the future. He also said he was lucky to have a patient mum which made me smile and hug him more