That’s my goal for where I need to get within the next couple of weeks. I’ve been spending a lot of time in my head which most of the time doesn’t bode well. This time it’s taken until a day trio yesterday to realise just how crap I’ve been feeling over the past few months. The reason for my blog being quiet too.
I have been scraping by getting through each day at a time … Still good going … But I have lost my fight again. I have so much to sort out its back to square one with everything. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve had to do this but I guess each time I do I bring the new lessons I’ve learnt with me. Yes I’m concentrating on looking at them as lessons rather than focusing on how they actually feel (life throwing more shit at me than a bored monkey locked in a cage)
I’ve mostly detached from every day life, not being present in the day but getting by from waking up to bed to bed time. My energies have been spread that far and between that I’m having to now make some very difficult choices, which means letting people down, one thing I HATE but it’s either that or facing burn out which I can’t afford to do. I will say more about this once I’ve let these people know.
I don’t really expect others to understand why I’m having to do this, I have had a lot of offers of help, advice etc all meant in the nicest ways of course and even though I know they are trying to help it actually doesn’t help in the slightest, if anything it just annoys me. I’m not being ungrateful either or aggressive or a bitch and I can but hope that others will see this at some point.
It’s all a bit hectic in my head and in my life
On the side of creative challenges, I’m still managing it on most days, by the end of the day though I’m exhausted, fed up and ready for bed. Blogging about it doesn’t even come into my mind.