A proverb (from Latin: proverbium) is a simple and concrete saying, popularly known and repeated, that expresses a truth based on common sense or the practical experience of humanity. They are often metaphorical. A proverb that describes a basic rule of conduct may
also be known as a maxim.
See how in the first line it says simple …. Well to some I guess they are simple but when trying to explain them to the boy yesterday it proves that they are anything but and has left me pondering if we actually need them. Do they add any value to our language? Why have them when you may as well just say exactly what you mean? Are they just there to make others feel stupid?
He doesn’t understand proverbs or the reason why we have them, we’ve decided it’s actually not worth worrying about and do not hold any importance to his education. That is one of the joys of home education especially when it’s child lead. You can pick and choose to suit the child. There are lots of things my boy doesn’t understand because of his ASD. I do not see the point of trying to force him to understand them when all it will do is cause frustration, tears and anger. Which neither of us really needs, having a teenage boy with ASD can be challenging enough as it is without adding to it.
Hormones don’t give anyone a break and don’t mix well with ASD. He’s high functioning too so it can also be really hard to know which behaviour is the ASD and which is the teenager. His go to reaction to anything is pretty much anger, he explodes like a bomb with no fuse and a melt down can last hours. I have no idea most evenings how we managed to get anything done let alone why I have not turned to drink, I figure my patience really is a blessing no matter how drained a day can leave me feeling.
After having a conversation with a mum though who’s child is in school I am really really glad I made the decision to pull him out. He may not be doing the same work as others his own age, be classed as being ‘behind’ educationally and he has not started to sit GCSE’s but you know what? He is happy. He isn’t stressed and tired all of the time, he’s not been made to sit through an exam only to fail because he can’t sit still longer than 5 minutes and has been sent out. He is not constantly being told that he isn’t good enough and has to try harder otherwise he won’t get into college or get a job.
The only down side still is the lack of socialising with others his own age, even though he only ever use to socialise with them at school anyway because either in the area we live in children his own age are smoking, drinking and taking mcat or being glued to the computer, oh that and the fact most of their parents have never like me, even since days of taking him to nursery only a handful of parents spoke to me as we all know play ground rules do not change with the clicky groups whether you are a child or a parent. He does socialise with others though, he gets on great with my ‘other’ children who are all ages 19 and over. But I need to find him someone to do things with that isn’t me, someone who is male and responsible as willing to be a positive role model. His father isn’t that person in the slightest (one of the reasons why our relationship ended before I even knew I was expecting) and I can but wish my other half would be but he doesn’t ‘get’ children, let alone those like my boys who’s brains are wired differently. So I am essentially still a single mother …. Which is rather odd but nothing in our lives tend to be simple.
He is 14 and stuck with mum 24-7 I am not only his ‘teacher’ but also his mum, the one who has to ‘nag’ and then try and also be his friend ….. he is bound to be cross about it all, he is going through the natural process of wanting to fit in with everyone else and doesn’t like anything to do with how he was brought up . “Why can’t you be normal” is a common phrase in our house once again, and the pushing of the rules, boundaries and routine is an extra thing that tests my patience on a daily basis. On the plus side having a son who is almost 21 I know it will only last for a few more years, then he will be my friend again and understand the importance of the things I’ve tried to teach him. But for now it is a challenge. Luckily I don’t take any of it personally … What’s the point when it isn’t? I don’t get into shouting matches with him or argue after all I have to do my best to teach him by example, especially as he doesn’t understand authority and sees everyone as an equal regardless of age, relationship, profession etc.
So we both have our routines, my house is a mess and I am always exhausted after pulling long days and short nights.
But my son is happy, he hasn’t self harmed in over 18 months and his confidence is growing more and more each day.
Business is slowly picking up and I am almost ready to relaunch sanctuary therapies … Why I’m making more work for myself is questionable but I have to try and increase my income some how (I still have not worked out how I am going to charge but that is a different blog post) and I have had people interested in my services.
Talking of routines, it is now breakfast time, now the weather has gone colder we appear to be hungry all of the time.
After breakfast I am going to try and find resources and possible places that may be able to help but the problems I am facing is that local home ed groups are not local and the age range is much younger than my son, Youth groups are not really suitable for one reason or another and we are finding he doesn’t fit into any type of child. Either because of his upbringing or because of his ASD.