for the past two weeks I have not really walked.What I have been doing is try and process the many thoughts the Walk in her shoes challenge had brought to the forefront of my mind. The first Monday my plan was to sit down and write everything down, spend a whole day writing but the thoughts became over whelming and I had to get outside. After days of strong winds my plan was to actually just have a quick tidy up but it ended up turning into a 4 hour gardening session…. the plus side is that it is almost ready for planting, somethings that I was behind on this year.
This is how my week went, as soon as I tried to truly process everything going around in my head It became over whelming and the urge to get outside won. I didn’t do any walking, which felt odd. My time has been spent just pottering around in the garden. My emotional state scattered and more sensitive than usual and I think that the whole challenge has had more of an impact on me than I thought it would.
During the challenge week in total I walked 42 miles for the challenge plus an extra ten with planning on the route.
It has left me feeling exhausted, my feet were red, swollen and for the first time since going barefoot my feet throbbed.
We (the western world) seem to constantly complain about pretty much everything while finding various reasons and excuses of why these things can’t be changed. We seem to want everything as fast as possible without true regards to cost (not just monetary) we spend all of our days working the proverbial 9-5 in order to earn enough money to live and our values differ tremendously on how ” the standard of living” should be. Then after working all the hours we can, “scrimping by” we dream of a life more simple, try and get away from our every day lives to have a break.
Oh how do we cope?
Please do not get me wrong, our worries and daily issues are just as valid, they make us feel true emotions and I am certainly not going to tell anyone their feelings are invalid.
I thought my life was quite mundane before the walk, after the walk I realise that how i see my life is of my own doing. My life certainly does get me down on occasion, but I have never truly appreciated the freedoms and opportunities available to me. I am currently feeling very trapped, I have obstacles that I need to solve once and for all. The one thing holding me back from my dream is money, I need to make more, but i need money to make money. I can not think of ways to do it just yet and all my mind keeps thinking about are these women and girls. I have got a lot of work a head of me, I have a dream, I am in the position to be lucky enough to even think about achieving my dream where there are others who don’t. I fell as though I do not just owe it to myself to work harder than ever before to achieve my goals but that I also owe it to all of those women and girls who are not as lucky.
Being a mum
As you may know I home school my youngest son, it is a mash of different styles that seems to constantly adapted from week to week to suit his needs and mind set. He has so many opportunities in life, now and in the future that we take for granted. When my children were born it was exciting to think of how they would grow and develop as people as well as what they would do with their lives. I’m not too sure how I would feel being a mother and knowing that fetching water will also be in their futures with a slim chance of anything else happening.
I still can’t put all of my thoughts into words and it’s starting to frustrate me a little, I have a heck of a lot going through my head right now it would be nice to be able to put it into some sort of order.